I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
