we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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