when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
