I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
