White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
