My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
