we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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