I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
