Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
