Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
