I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
