Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
operation harelip BJ is a go
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
