why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
