Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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