You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
