The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
