I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
