I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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