You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
