I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
