Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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