If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
