No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
