the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
