I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My breasts were aching with rage.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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