She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just pee around me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
