Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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