i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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