the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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