a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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