That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
