we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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