I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
