this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
