I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
