I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
