This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
