Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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