At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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