All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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