She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
