Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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