i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
