sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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