i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
