this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
