you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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