My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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