dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
