my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
