I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
