i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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