and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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