I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
