I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
