did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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