Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
