Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Less talking, more tequila
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
