It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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