new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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