My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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