i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
